Anorak News | Half-Man, Half-Pig

Half-Man, Half-Pig

by | 18th, June 2004

‘GIVEN the amount of space devoted to slimming in the National Enquirer, we suspect that the magazine’s average reader is the size of New Hampshire.

‘Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin…’

In between adverts for the likes of Detox/Slim – “an amazing obesity therapy…developed at a prestigious European university” – and Equiba – “a single tablet to melt away 6 pounds of ugly, dangerous, debilitating fat in a 5-day period”, we catch up on some of Tinseltown’s famous lardarses.

We see Kirstie Allie eating a salad, we hear that TV star Camryn Manheim is going to adopt so that she doesn’t lose her new slim figure and we learn that Witney Houston’s bulging tummy is the result of drug use, not pregnancy.

And we also catch up with Fred Durst, the half-man, half-pig frontman of Limp Bizkit.

Fred, it seems, gave Avril Lavigne one of his personal stash of burgers (he carries round 20 burgers at any one time) when he heard she was hungry after a concert.

And in return he expected Avril to sleep with him.

Knowing how much Fred loves his food, it seems a fair enough trade to us, but not to Avril.

“He was disappointed that I wouldn’t even go near him,” she says.

Wouldn’t, Avril? Or couldn’t..?’

Posted: 18th, June 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink