Anorak News | Britney In Roo-ins

Britney In Roo-ins

by | 22nd, June 2004

‘HAVING carefully unpeeled the three-ply Wayne Rooney wrap that covers the back and front of today’s papers, we reach the one or, at a push, two pages of non-football news.

‘Hit him, mother, one more time’

And it’s a sobering jolt to a world that’s going loony for Rooney.

The Mail reports from America where there’s been a ‘nightmare’ incident involving Britney Spears, a photographer and the singer’s new white Maltese terrier.

The dog-loving Mail readership has already feared the worst. Surely the little love hasn’t been incorporated into Britney’s sick, highly-sexed stage show!

But before Middle England raise their pens in disgust, ready to rail against what passes for entertainment these days, the Sun brings its readers the truth.

First up, and most importantly, the dog (Rooney) is fine. It may be a little shocked, but it should pull though.

But Britney is hysterical. An emergency ambulance crew has been summoned and she, although ensconced in ten tons of 4×4 mobile body armour, is screaming.

‘Oh no, oh no. Mom. Mom,’ she gibbers, as a paramedic holds her hand. Mascara is running down her tear-soaked cheeks.

Mom Lynne just sits behind the wheel of her massive vehicle, perhaps shaken but keeping a lid on things as mayhem envelopes the street outside a pet shop in Santa Monica, California.

But soon Britney calms down – allowing the paramedic to treat Calum Reavely, whom Lynne has run over.

An eyewitness explains that when emerging with her new pooch, Spears became the target of a phalanx of snappers (who just happened to be passing).

‘Most of them were on the pavement,’ says a man on the spot. ‘Calum didn’t throw himself in front of the car or anything…

‘Without warning, Britney’s mum drove off at high speed, straight through the photographers.’

And down went Reavely, writhing in a heap of pain.

At which point, according to witnesses speaking to the Star, Spears told her mum to drive off.

‘After the accident,’ says another witness, ‘Britney was hysterical, screaming and cursing as she urged her mum to get out of there.’

That would have been cruel on Reavely, whose foot is reported to be badly bruised and swollen, and could have landed Lynne with a hit and run charge.

So they stayed to face the music. And in keeping with the Spears’ oeuvre, it was reportedly a very painful experience…’

Posted: 22nd, June 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink