Anorak News | Golden Ears

Golden Ears

by | 24th, June 2004

‘BY now you are wondering what in the world is going on. Which way is up? Is left where it was last night? Has the world gone mad?

Sven’s expression hasn’t changed throughout the tournament

The answer is that things are just as they have been all week, and today is a day like all others. Wayne Rooney is front-page news.

Make that McRooney, the name the Mirror claims has been given to the Scouse striker by the Portuguese, as Lisbon newspapers claim England No. 9 has been eating too many hamburgers.

Rooney fans shouldn’t worry – hamburgers may be to Rooney what spinach is to Popeye, Mars bars to Paul Gascoigne and nail polish to David Beckham.

But burgers may not be enough. So the Star wants us to pin up its Cross of Saint George flag with Rooney’s face at its centre and rub the lad’s gilded ears.

And why does he have golden ears in the Star? Chances are high that even the Star can’t answer that poser. And other than to say that Rooney is an enigma and has ears, neither can we.

But there is no need to puzzle over the Sun, which decorates its front page and Lisbon’s Parca Da Figueira square with what it claims to be the world’s biggest flag (an England flag).

‘FOR ENGLAND AND ST GEORGE,’ belches the headline, evoking the stirring rhetoric of William Shakespeare’s King Henry V.

Rousing words – and who cares that tonight England does battle not in ankle-deep mud as she did all those seasons ago, nor against the French, but kicks a ball on an immaculate grassy surface against her country’s oldest ally.

And that the Sun is owned by an American citizen of Australian extraction…’

Posted: 24th, June 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink