Anorak News | Van-ity Case

Van-ity Case

by | 24th, June 2004

‘ARE there no mirrors in the Big Brother house? Has Vanessa ever seen her reflection? Do all her friends outside the house look like Nadia in her pre-op days?

Vamessa The Undresser

For some reason, the woman seems to have got it into her vain skull that she is some kind of supermodel, suggesting that if she and bed-partner Shell were an item they would be “the best-looking lesbian gay couple in the world”.

Perhaps – assuming that Vanessa Feltz didn’t get it on with Lisa Riley in the meantime.

The rest of the housemates know it as well – when they had to come up with a statue of their ideal housemate using body parts of the 10 people left in the house, Vanessa’s contribution was…her arms.

Not her face, not her body, not her blonde hair, but her arms. Hardly a ringing endorsement of a woman who clearly thinks that her outstanding beauty is the cause of any – and every – problem she encounters.

Still, she’s lucky to even get her arms included – if Michelle had her way, the statue would have been a spitting image of Stuart, her chicken, her “perfect package”..

The poor Geordie has exhausted her whole gamut of mating rituals – all of which seem to involve chasing the long-haired student around and flashing her breasts at him – and still can’t get him into the sack.

Of course, were it Ness – that “fat, cellulite slag”, as Michelle likes to call her – in pursuit, there would be no way that Stuart could resist.

What man – or woman – could?!’

Posted: 24th, June 2004 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink