Anorak News | Less Of Ness

Less Of Ness

by | 28th, June 2004

‘VANESSA Feltz doesn’t feel bad when she’s fat, but “I’m definitely happy when I’m slimmer”.

Only this artist’s impression exists of the reclusive Vanessa

So says the human doodlebug as she talks to OK! about her experience in Celebrity Fit Club – an interview that catches our eye and not only because Nessie is impossible to miss.

For it appears that there are only two states in which La Feltz exists – fat and slimmer.

And that begs a number of questions. Slimmer than what? What if the slimmer Feltz is still fat? And what does it all mean for her state of mind?

It is an intriguing conundrum and one we grapple with as we chew on Nessie’s low-carb words.

And as we do so we learn that she is not planning any more weight loss, although she says she is carrying on with the programme she was given on the TV show.

“I think I’ll know when it’s time to stop,” she says. “I would like someone to call me gaunt rather than the other things I’ve been called.”

Looking at the photos of the human butter mountain in a £395 dress from Anoushka G (as modified by Town & Country Marquees), we fear that day is still someway off.

But at least Ness is happy – after all, not only is she two and a half stone lighter than she was when she was two and a half stone heavier, but she’s also slimmer – and happier – than a pregnant hippopotamus.


Posted: 28th, June 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink