Anorak News | Out Of Line

Out Of Line

by | 1st, July 2004

‘HOW well do you know your Highway Code? Would you pass the written theory part of the driving test? Let’s see…

‘You can’t park there, mate’

Q1: What does a dead badger at the side of the road with two yellow lines painted over it mean? Okay, that’s an easy one – the council workmen couldn’t be bothered to move it.

Q2: What does a single yellow line painted around a parked car signify? Correct again – a car that was parked legally is now parked illegally.

Q3: Finally, what do white squiggly lines beside a quiet village road in Hampshire mean? No, sorry – it doesn’t mean the workmen have spent too long in the local pub.

You have scored 67% – which is in fact a FAIL. The right answer to Q3 is that the lines are in fact the latest traffic calming measure from Hampshire County Council.

The Express reports that highway officials decided that the “wibbly wobbly” line beside the road through the village of East Boldre would force drivers to slow down by convincing them that the road was narrower that it actually is.

Parish councillors dreamed up the lunatic scheme after their application for a 30mph speed limit was turned down because the area was not an accident blackspot.

However, the good news is that East Boldre will very soon be an accident blackspot and therefore get its 30mph limit thanks to the introduction of the freestyle road markings.

Villagers were queuing up to give the Express the benefit of their opinion.

“I think it is crazy and dangerous,” says Ian Stead, a retired civil engineer. “It looks like a belated April fool joke.”

And Michael Mayes warned that “motorists driving through in fog or poor visibility could become totally confused trying to follow the lines”.

But if the pilot scheme in East Boldre is successful, the scheme could be extended across the whole country as part of the Government’s drive to baffle motorists.

Already plans are underway, for instance, to paint wavy lines down the middle of the A42 to convince drivers that they are too drunk to be at the wheel of a car.’

Posted: 1st, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink