Anorak News | Cops and Robbers

Cops and Robbers

by | 2nd, July 2004

‘FROM Saddam Hussein and British judges, we now take a look at some real old-fashioned criminals.

‘Mortgage rates go down, or the bitch gets it!’

And who is more real or old-fashioned than the “Bonnie and Clyde” pair, as featured in this morning’s Independent.

The duo have, apparently, been terrifying building society customers by rushing in and screaming, “Interest rates are up by 2%! We’re all going to be homeless!”

Of course, they don’t – we already have the Express for that.

Their modus operandi is rather for him to dash into the branch, grab a female customer, point a knife to her throat and demand cash – or else.

The tellers than hand over bundles of dough and he, dragging the woman off, makes good his escape.

But let‘s take a look at that woman again. And again. And again. Because on each of the six occasions the robber is feared to have struck, the same woman has become his hostage.

Our excellent and very bright police force have therefore deduced that either the woman is A) very unlucky or B) in on the caper.

And the result is that they must be caught before someone gets hurt. Although, until they find the woman, the cops can’t be sure who that someone will be…’

Posted: 2nd, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink