Anorak News | A Big Noise

A Big Noise

by | 2nd, July 2004

‘THERE are some jobs that don’t seem that much like work – and being a ball-boy at one of Maria Sharapova’s Wimbledon matches may just be one of them.

Let’s hear it for Maria

The 17-year-old Russian made it through to her first Grand Slam title yesterday when she grunted and groaned her way to a three-set victory over Lindsay Davenport.

And in doing so she gave the Mail yet another opportunity to plaster pictures of her “long blonde hair and endless legs” over its news pages.

Of course, however, it’s not Maria’s looks that the paper is interested in, but what comes out of her mouth.

No, don’t be silly – they don’t want to hear what she has to say about her tennis.

It is apparently her “ear-splitting shriek” (illustrated with the requisite pictures) that has made her impossible to ignore.

The Mail was courtside yesterday with its very own grunt-o-meter to measure the grunts, yells and squeals produced by the girl who it has dubbed “Queen of Scream”.

At her loudest, in a tense second-set tie-break, she hit 86.7 decibels – louder than a motorcycle revving, the equivalent of a diesel train roaring past 100 feet away but marginally quieter than, say, a pneumatic drill or the noise of male Mail readers salivating over their cornflakes this morning.

The Star also has its ears open for “The Queen Of Grunt”, claiming that Wimbledon officials have told her to tone down the noise.

“It is dangerously close,” it says, “to the level medics say can harm the human ear.”

Nor is it only Maria, her opponents and the officials that are affected – the crowd could go deaf listening to a sound that is as loud as the mating scream of a gibbon.

And they could go blind looking at the pictures of her in the paper…’

Posted: 2nd, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink