Anorak News | Dirty Harry

Dirty Harry

by | 2nd, July 2004

‘IF, burst eardrums notwithstanding, being a Wimbledon ball-boy is one of the cushiest jobs in the world, then this must be one of the worst – Abu Hamza’s bottom wiper.

Hamza and his trademark dingleberry scraper

The Muslim extremist – dubbed Hook – has no hands and is unable to look after his own personal hygiene in Belmarsh jail.

So, says the Mirror, he has got a £30,000-a-year nurse, called Harry, whose job it is to do it for him.

“He’s known as Dirty Harry,” a prison source says. “This guy has got one of the worst jobs in the world. His main reason for being there is to clean Hamza’s backside.

“Everyone’s having a laugh about it, but Hamza can’t be left unclean. It would be a health hazard.”

Hamza has had his two metal hooks removed and been given two special £5,000 replacements because it was feared he could use the originals as weapons.

But how bad is the food in Belmarsh prison that Hook requires a full-time bum wiper?

And who is this mysterious Harry?

We imagine it is pure coincidence that this story should emerge the day after Prince Charles published his accounts in which there was no mention either of the Holder Of The Royal Sceptre (and Cupper Of The Royal Orbs) or of the Royal Bum-Wiper…’

Posted: 2nd, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink