Anorak News | Til Girth Do Us Part

Til Girth Do Us Part

by | 2nd, July 2004

‘WHEN we say our marriage vows, we promise to take our beloved “for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health”.

She’s like all the Bond Girls rolled into one

Of course, we don’t mean a word of it – it’s just not very romantic to say “until someone better comes along” or, in Britney’s case, “until I sober up”.

But nowhere in the traditional marriage ceremony will you find the words “for fatter, for thinner” – and quite right too.

Our forefathers were a clever bunch and they wanted a get-out clause in case today’s Vanessa Nimmo is tomorrow’s Vanessa Feltz or Orlando Bloom balloons to the size of Orlando, Florida.

It’s one thing committing ourselves to stick with our partner after they’ve emptied the joint account, contracted a particularly nasty rash and started finding Chris Moyles attractive.

It’s quite another to have to lie back as the human equivalent of, well, the aforementioned Chris Moyles climbs on board and starts jigging around for all they’re worth.

And judging by the picture of Keely Shaye Smith in this week’s National Enquirer, Pierce Brosnan must be pretty happy that his ancestors showed such foresight.

We have mentioned in these pages before that Keely was, well, a little on the large side these days after personally eating every morsel of the couple’s six-tier wedding cake.

But it doesn’t appear that Keely will be satisfied until she can sit on one end of a see-saw and send Kirstie Alley flying into the stratosphere.

The Enquirer has a picture of 007 actor Brosnan carrying son Paris out of an ice cream parlour in Malibu, followed a step or two behind by Keely carrying – you guessed it – an ice cream.

But the bad news for Keely is that she still has a way to go to achieve her ambition – Kirstie Alley is currently tipping the scales at 307lb…and growing.

“I know how I got fat,” he recently told a TV interviewer. “I know what I did in my life to get fat. I ate too much.”

Shhh! No giving away your secrets now…’

Posted: 2nd, July 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink