Anorak News | Lynne’s Off

Lynne’s Off

by | 2nd, July 2004

‘THE repercussions of the great inflatable dragon disaster are still being felt around Albert Square, with half the cast still in hospital or suffering from post traumatic stress (although given the levels of some of the acting, the glassy eyed stares and wooden emotions are nothing out of the ordinary).

‘It could be worse – it could be a mirror’

Ian and Lynne are still in hospital, suffering varying degrees of distress. Ian’s complaining that he can’t open his chip shop with a broken leg and Lynne’s trying to get over the death of her unborn daughter and the news that she’ll never be able to have another child.

Gary had to break the news to his wife that baby Viv died within minutes of being born – although that’s probably a blessing compared to a life in Albert Square.

Later this week, Lynne leaves Walford for good. “I need to get away from all this misery,” she tells her tearful husband. Indeed – it’s enough to make you turn to drink.

Things are looking up for Ian, however, as the Centenary (ratings) disaster brings him a special new friend called Jane. This mystery woman, who’s clearly deaf, dumb and blind, has taken a fancy to Ian after comforting him while he was trapped.

Ian’s still hankering after Kate, however, unaware that she’s having an affair with Dirty Den (do you think they met on the internet?)

As the years/days go by, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to accept Den as the Square’s sex symbol. Internet antics aside, he now resembles a pickled walnut in a blouson style leather jacket.

Son Dennis, however, is keeping the dream alive and is currently juggling not only a teenage lover but also his sister.

Sharontella Versace is trying to pretend that she’s absolutely fine with Dennis sleeping with Zoe, but it’s clear from the way directors are insisting she always have a wine glass in her hand at the moment, that it’s not the case.

Zoe being so young – and a Slater to boot – is blissfully ignorant of the emotional turmoil going on between her lover and his sister. “I know e’s the one for me,” she trilled to Sharon – who at least had the grace to turn pink under her orange skin.’

Posted: 2nd, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink