Anorak News | A Great Britton

A Great Britton

by | 7th, July 2004

‘YESTERDAY, Tory leader Michael Howard was pictured deep in conversation with a cow; this morning, he is seen chatting with Fern Britton.

‘There’s only one David Mellor!’

There is of course so little connection between the two that we’re not sure why we even mentioned it.

Yesterday’s cow – Blackbrook Natasha – was admittedly a beauty and the longhorn breed champion at the Royal Agricultural Society’s annual show to boot.

But Fern is a respected TV presenter, host of This Morning with Philip Schofield and a true heavyweight in the world of political interviewing.

So, Mikey H and his wife Sandy would not have been expecting an easy ride when they sat down on the famous blue sofa to face Phil and Fern’s questions.

And so it proved.

‘What did he hope to accomplish?’ the hosts asked.

‘To make this country a better place to live in!’ MC Mikey parried.

‘And you’ll be there every step of the way, will you?’ Phil tried to ambush Sands.

‘Yes’ was the former model’s witty rejoinder.

‘What was he like at DIY and cooking?’


And so the interview went on, full of thrust and counter-thrust – a gladiatorial contest of such ferocity that, says the Guardian ‘it was painfully obvious the Howards didn’t want to be there’.

And we can understand why when no question was off limits to our intrepid interviewers (although time pressures prevented them bringing up the results of yesterday’s Times poll).

Even table-tennis came under Phil and Fern’s microscopic gaze, as they asked whether the health of the Howards’ relationship was based on a shared love of the game.

‘I wouldn’t say it’s all about that,’ Mikey said. ‘But you need some exercise… I know people think this is hilarious but you can play it pretty strenuously.’

And with that Phil presented the Tory boss with a Liverpool football shirt bearing the number 10 and Howard’s name.

Suddenly, the combination of strenuous exercise and football shirts was too much for us as memories of another Tory MP came flooding back…’

Posted: 7th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink