Nine Lives

‘ARE you a ‘Pop Princess’?

‘Leg up, if you’re a clubber’

If you are, you’re not. You can’t be. Why? Because the Express says that only girls can be Pop Princesses, so there.

Only a girl can wear pink, silver and baby blue, listen to Gareth Gates and Will Young, love Prince William and hate spots.

This is patently discriminatory, and we for one expected better of the Foreign Office-funded British Council which has compiled a list of the nine tribes all teens belong to.

The Star says that the cutting-edge information will ‘help explain British teenagers to baffled foreign students’ – and give the paper a neat way of filling a page with pictures of surly teens.

So what are the other groups, and how can you join?

To give them their dues, they are, in no particular order: Skaters, Soulstrels, Townies, Grungers, Indie Kids, Clubbers, Goths and Nu-Metallers, the latter a group only accessible to boys apparently.

And each group has a poster-girl and boy who epitomises the trend.

For instance, Jack Osbourne is a typical Nu-Metaller, Charlotte Church is a Pop Princess, Wayne Rooney is a Townie and Jennifer Ellison is a Clubber.

And the good news for all teens confused at the choices on offer is that, as Chantelle Horton, editor of teen angst mag Bliss, says: ‘You can buy all these different looks in Top Shop.’

Pah! Who says rebellion is dead?’

Posted: 9th, July 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink