Goran, My Son

‘SVEN Goran Eriksson’s affair with Soho Square secretary Faria Alam looks good on paper, but like his England team fails to really gel when it really matters.

‘So, who wants a job as my secretary?’

At first look, some vital elements are in place to make this a decent scandal.

We have the randy love cheat boss (Sven), the aging would-be model (Faria) and a love triangle completed by Mark Palios, the FA’s now former chief executive, who, as the Mail says, was seen as the person capable cleaning up football’s tarnished image.

We even have the shadowy spin doctor, the FA’s communications director Colin Gibson, who apparently told the News Of The World that he’d give them all the goss on Sven if they left Palios alone.

For a man supposedly well versed in the ways of the press, Gibson’s looks foolish to have even contemplated such a deal – to give it full throat in a conversation with the paper’s reporters is plain dumb.

The result of Gibson’s off-the-record chat – transcribed by the Mail – is that Palios has resigned his post and Sven says that he fears he’s next.

Indeed, the Mail says that other FA heads might roll, listing those who will be ‘next for the red card’ – the organisation’s executive director, David Davies, the idiotic Gibson, FA chairman Geoff Thompson and our favourite Swede.

But while we have a tawdry tale of illicit sex with the staff, half-truths and double standards, the lack of truly explicit revelations means that the red light has not yet been erected outside the FA’s Soho offices.

Where are the stories about five-times-a-night Sven being an animal in bed; how ‘I made love to Mark as Sven waited downstairs’; and even what formation Sven and Mark preferred?

Without these salacious staples of the tabloid diet, the story lacks oomph.

But we might be about to get some titillation – the Star reports that Sven is all set to tell the FA his ‘SEX SECRETS’ in a meeting with his employees today.

FA ‘insiders’ (Gibson and his media team?) tell the paper that the ‘ice-cool Swede’ will be made to spill the beans on his love life, to ‘reveal every sordid detail’ about his relationship with Ms Alam.

And with the likes of Gibson is charge of keeping a lid on what’s said, we can expect to hear the minute details of Sven’s bedroom antics sometime tomorrow.

Which will give us all something to get our teeth into – and, perhaps, explain what is about the robotic Swede that women find so attractive.’

Posted: 2nd, August 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink