Looking After No.1

‘DO you know how far you have to walk to rid your body of a McDonald’s Big Mac? Go on, take a guess. And here’s a clue: it’s further than the dash from the counter to the bathroom.

Gone to the big Raiki centre in the sky

According to nutritionist Natalie Savona, you’d have to walk for 16 miles to burn off the calories from one of Ronald McDonald’s full-fat meat and sauce sandwiches.

What would we do without nutritionists and the other new professions which have revolutionised not only the way we look at our lunch but do our shopping too?

The Mail has seen a survey of the Yellow Pages, and notes with some horror that the number of greengrocers listed has fallen by 59% over the last ten years, while butchers are down 40% and hardware shops down 34%.

This, to the Mail, is ‘astonishing’ – and has nothing to do with the fact that massive supermarkets now sell everything and have put Mr Spud and his ilk out of work, but down to the way we are more into ourselves than ever before.

The Mail reaches this conclusion by also noting that over the same decade, listings for aromatherapists have risen by 5,200%; cosmetic surgeons are up 1,780%; dieticians up by 1,440%; make-up artists by 1,006% and reflexology by 830%.

And let’s not forget our friend Ms Savona and her fellow nutritionists, which are now 969% more likely to be listed in the telephone directory than in 1994.

The figures would seem to speak for themselves. And Dr Tim Leunig, billed as an expert in economic history (figures available on request), is one hearing the news loud and clear.

‘Just as changes to the Oxford English Dictionary reflect the evolution of language, changes to Yellow Pages reflect the evolution of business,’ says he.

‘Rather than keeping up with the Joneses, we are running to keep up with ourselves and the pressures of modern life.’

Which thanks to that hastily-eaten Big Mac has made us all fit to burst. Out of the way, you Shiatsu practitioners and yoga gurus, we’ve got (bleugh!) 15 miles still to go…’

Posted: 3rd, August 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink