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Den Of Absurdity

by | 5th, August 2004

‘EASTENDERS lurches from madness to madness as the summer heat has clearly sent scriptwriters over the edge into Eldorado territory with increasingly ludicrous storylines.

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We’re now supposed to believe that not only Kate and Chrissie find Den irresistible but also every other female he comes into contact with, as he manages to lure home an attractive young woman he met in the club in a bid to get over his wife leaving him.

“What are you thinking of? Have some self respect!” shouted Dennis, not as I assumed to the woman in question, but to Den. “Sleeping with someone else isn’t going to bring Chrissie back.”

Chrissie had discovered his affair with Kate and had finally walked out on Den – but not before she taught Kate a lesson about messing with married men.

Chrissie offered to give Kate’s hair a trim one night after hours in the salon. “So, you seeing anyone at the moment?” Chrissie asked her, scissors in hand. Kate revealed to her that she had been seeing someone, but it was now over, “I discovered he was married.”

“Really?” replied Chrissie, who was starting to hack away furiously. “And I suppose you didn’t give a thought about his wife and his kids?” “How did you know he had kids?” asked Kate, starting to get nervous.

Chrissie then lunged at Kate like a woman possessed. “I know what you’ve been up to, you dirty slapper!” Kate, to her credit, put up a credible fight and it would be difficult to know which lady to back, being fairly evenly matched in weight, reach and loony levels.

Den strode into the salon to break up the bitch fight just as it was getting interesting, with Chrissie banging Kate’s head against a ceramic sink. Den, true to form, denied everything. “She’s mental,” said Den, “I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

Chrissie has been married to King Rat long enough to know what he’s like, however, and promptly packed her bags and fled back to Spain.

Den isn’t one to let the grass grow under his feet though and persuaded son Dennis to go out on the pull with him the very next night.

Dennis had other things on his mind though as his girlfriend Zoe was languishing in a police cell. Zoe and Kat had been arrested the night before after a girls’ night out ended up in a punch-up in Angie’s Den.

These are the Slaters – what on earth did anyone expect? What’s a Slater night out without at least one arrest and a punch-up?’



Posted: 5th, August 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink