Anorak News | Fashion Victims

Fashion Victims

by | 6th, August 2004

‘“SHOULD you have been eavesdropping on a group of British men five years ago, you might have heard an analysis of a football game, a discussion of how much they drunk the night before, and then more of the football talk,” says the Guardian.

Brown is the new gay

“Cast an ear towards their conversation today and they are more likely to be discussing the merits of Paul Smith, Helmut Lang, Comme des Garcons and Armani.”

Indeed, we talk of little else here in Anorak Towers.

And the general consensus is…Paul Smith won’t cut it in the Premiership, Helmut Lang is a great signing for Crystal Palace, Comme des Garcons’ last album was shit and Armani is a stupid name for a girl.

And, if you want a decent pair of trousers, don’t look further than Anorak Eazy-Slax, the one-size-fits-all choice of discerning men of all ages.

But sadly British men don’t know quality tailoring when they see it and are spunking away more money than ever on expensive clothes made by foreign johnnies.

(Although Anorak Eazy-Slax are hand-stitched by seven-year-olds in Bangladesh, the design – and the brand – are British through and through.)

The Guardian reports that more British men are now buying designer clothes than British women, with 49% admitting to having bought designer gear in the past year.

“It’s definitely true that men are becoming more effeminate,” says Mintel consumer analyst Jenny (formerly John) Catlin, “and the gap is narrowing.

“There is a general move away from that negative stereotype of men not caring about the way they look and smell.”

It is a trend that is yet to reach Anorak Towers, sadly, where some members of staff have taken full advantage of Eazy-Slax’s Eazy-Wipe technology and not changed their clothes for years.

However, the British man spends only £45 a year on personal grooming products – way behind the poncy Frogs who shell out £68 a year each trying to look good.

For those of you who are metrosexually challenged, the Guardian’s deputy fashion editor Hadley Freeman helpfully provides a list this season’s hottest looks.

And we are delighted to report that the menswear mantra this season is “retro” – the fashion industry’s way of saying it has run out of ideas.

Specifically, 1950s (with V-necked cashmere jumpers like the one Darren wears on Bewitched) and 1920s (with loose suit trousers and golfing jumpers all the rage).

We also hear that homosexuality is very in – or gay is the new black, as the fashion types like to say.’

Posted: 6th, August 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink