Anorak News | Sven’s Relief

Sven’s Relief

by | 6th, August 2004

‘THE news in the Mirror is that Sven Goran Eriksson has been cleared of any wrongdoing, the Football Association’s media manipulator Colin Gibson has cleared his desk and Faria Alam has signed a £500,000 deal with ITV to tell all.

‘Hello, lay-deez’

This leads to the Mirror’s back page headline “Sven: My Relief” – words that pepper the brain with images of a waxy and naked Sven getting down to business in his office.

While we go and beat our heads against a brick wall to purge our rocking minds of such nastiness, the Sun says that Sven is not as in the clear as the Mirror would have us believe.

In “POLE AXED”, the paper says that if England lose their World Cup qualifying games against Austria and Poland next month, the FA will sack him.

Given the way England performed in Portugal this summer and the added news that the FA will sack Sven “the moment his England team slips up on the field”, it can’t be too long before David James and the lads show their coach the door.

But funny things happen in football and, if England win the World Cup, papers like the Sun will soon forget the past demeanours of the man the Express calls “TEFLON MAN”.

The other big footballing story is the (yawn) one about Patrick Vieira going to Real Madrid.

Today, the Star says that Real are unhappy that Arsenal are trying to get as much money as they can for their captain.

This is nothing less than a scandal, and Real president Florentino Perez says that he will not raise his offer and that ”for the moment talks have broken down”.

This is, as you may recall, the same Perez who always gets his man.

Which means that if he wants his reputation to survive this saga, he’ll either have to pay the asking price for the midfielder or else end up with so much egg on his face.

And given the machismo that passes for business acumen in the Real boardroom, Arsenal could be line for a fat wad of cash.

And the Sun says the Gunners are already planning how to spend their windfall, having made a £3m bid for West Ham’s Michael Carrick, while the Mirror says that Arsene Wenger has made a £7.5m bid for 20-year-old Argentinean Javier Mascherano.

And just like every other player Arsenal have signed this year, the South American wonder kid is billed as the “new Vieira”.

But since the old Vieira is still in situ, Carrick and Mascherano, should they arrive at Highbury, will have to settle for being the new Carrick and the new Mascherano.

While Real look for a new president…’

Posted: 6th, August 2004 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink