Anorak News | Thirty Years Of Hurt

Thirty Years Of Hurt

by | 9th, August 2004

‘IF the Government don’t want to talk about terror, perhaps they’d like to discuss the trains.

The Virgin Rocket

And there are things to talk about. Take the Independent’s story that, after many billions of pounds spent updating the west coast main line, the new trains running along the gleaming tracks will go no faster than the old ones did 30 years ago.

The Indy has conducted some analysis and discovered that the new “tilting trains” will be shiny, new and from September 27 this year able to complete the London to Glasgow run in four hours 39 minutes – a full one minute quicker than trains managed 15 years ago!

Here at last is the 21st century rail service this country was been craving.

However, not everything is so rosy and, while the quickest London to Birmingham service will take one hour 21 minutes, other services on the same route will take one hour 35 minutes – the same as they took in 1967.

These new Virgin “pendolino” trains will travel so fast they will actually make passenger believe they are travelling through time.

As the Guardian says, passengers should not be alarmed if they believe the new trains begin to look like 1970s British Rail locomotives.

This is because they are – a fault on the new trains means the toilets don’t work; and, while they are being repaired, Virgin’s customers will be treated to a 1970s theme trip.

So sit back and relax as the train takes the stain – and know that “we’re getting there”…slowly.’

Posted: 9th, August 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink