Order Of The Boot

‘IN a society obsessed with paper qualifications, it was only going to be matter of time…and now it has arrived.

If Germany had won the war…

The Guardian says that Little Hitlers (aka wheel clampers) are being offered the chance to take a BTEC in vehicle immobilisation.

Little Hitlers will be instructed in ways to “handle situations where conflict might arise”.

Before, during and after the Little Hitlers have attached the infamous Denver Boot to a parked car, tethered dog, wheelchair-bound pensioner and, as in Southampton, a minibus dropping disabled volunteers off for a street collection, Little Hitlers will be taught to communicate.

Having studied the 30-hour training course, Little Hitlers will be polite and efficient as they launch your car onto the back of a truck.

Goebbels and Co. will listen attentively while they stick a green metal shoe on your prized motor.

They will smile as they drive away, bowing even as they present you with an extortionate bill and remind you that, if you do not pay, your car will be taken to a field and shot.’

Posted: 12th, August 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink