Shell’s Nubbins

‘IT is clear that National Cleavage Week is well and truly over this Monday morning as Page 3 invites goofy Big Brother art student Shell Jubin to show off her nubbins.

Staci, 23, from Bromsgrove

And such nubbins they are that the Sun cannot find a letter of the alphabet low enough to describe them.

But don’t think for a moment that it is filthy lucre that has persuaded the posh 23-year-old, who has recently graduated with a first class honours degree from Glasgow, to bare all.

Her motives are, of course, much more cerebral and much purer than that – it is all done in the name of art.

‘Those who sneer at Page 3 lack intelligence,’ says Shell. ‘It’s beautifully shot and tastefully pioneered the celebration of the female form.’

Those of us who didn’t graduate from Glasgow University with a first in art history might have been under the mistaken impression that the likes of Peter Paul Rubens pioneered the celebration of the female form some 400 years or more ago.

But what do we know? We didn’t get a first in art history from Glasgow University.

‘In many ways, it emancipated women, letting them exploit their assets, earn cash and keep control,’ continues our latter-day Sister Wendy. ‘I see it as a modern art form.’

As we’re sure do Michelle, Nikkala, Zoe and our other Page 3 works of art.

But Shell doesn’t intend to make a career out of stripping off for newspapers.

She says appearing on Page 3 has been ‘an honour’, but insists it’s a ‘once-in-a-lifetime opportunity’.

Unless, of course, the Star offers her a big fat cheque to share her, er, thoughts on art with its readers.’

Posted: 23rd, August 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink