Anorak News | Chippy Foreigners

Chippy Foreigners

by | 25th, August 2004

‘DAVID Blunkett’s campaign to induct Johnny Foreigner into our weird and wonderful ways extends beyond compulsory English language tests for our former colonies.

A right arm’s worth of chips

It’s also important that those seeking asylum in this green and flooded land get used to our diet.

And that’s why we’re disappointed to learn via this morning’s Star that asylum seekers in Ipswich have staged a mini-riot over the quality of the food they receive.

One refugee apparently complained: ‘The food here is terrible. We get chips every day and we have had enough.

‘We have to eat them because we do not get any other choice at lunchtime. Most of us don’t like chips and it is a big problem.’

Of course, the food is terrible – you’re in England now, pal.

If you want decent food, try France. If you want decent weather, try Spain. If you want decent looking women, try Italy.

How do you think our British women get their pasty complexions, not to mention their flabby physiques? By eating salads? By seeing the sun more than once a year?

‘If they want to live in the UK, they had better get used to chips as they are part of the national diet,’ an ‘onlooker’ (Star reporter) tells the Star.

‘And lots of people would give their right arm for free meals.’

Not a bad idea. Eh, Mr Blunkett?’

Posted: 25th, August 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink