Anorak News | Boobs (For) Jobs

Boobs (For) Jobs

by | 1st, September 2004

‘IN another time and place, the Sun would have invited its readers to salivate over news that Maxine Carr once had a “whopping” 38DD chest.

And here are some the former Blue Peter presenter made earlier

She’d have been “busty” Maxine from Soham, standing in her knickers and telling the paper’s army of right-thinking readers how Wayne Rooney is the man to plump her pillows.

Instead, Sun readers hear that particular pearl of news from pert Scouser Katie, and instead learn that taxpayers must not be made to pay to restore Maxine’s chest, which has deflated with the pressures of her notoriety.

“Her demand for breast implants on the NHS is outrageous,” says the Sun.

The paper might change its tune, however, when it reads the Mail’s article “DEATH BY BRA”.

The Mail, a paper that sees disaster round every turn, reminds us that 400 underwire-related injuries are recorded in Britain each year and how in 1999 two women were killed when their bras were stuck by lightening.

Bigger boobs for Carr will lead to a bigger bra and thus a greater chance of her being electrocuted – something that should please some Sun readers no end.

So warned of the perils of a bigger carriage, Anthea Turner should watch out.

The resting blonde TV presenter should avoid trees and resist her passion for standing atop church spires in storms since, the Mirror reports, the 44-year-old flake-eater has taken to wearing bigger bras.

Yes, folks, Anthea’s had her boobs enlarged.

This is something we taxpayers would gladly have paid for.

Indeed, had we only been polled, chances are we’d have forked out for something more in keeping with Anthea’s huge celebrity status than a mere C cup.

Not that Anthea needs our cash, having paid for the £3,000 career booster herself.

And good on her. That’s not just our opinion – it’s the opinion of the Mirror’s woman’s editor, Caroline Jones, who has a few words for women, like Maxine Carr and Anthea Turner, who want to restore their confidence with bigger breasts.

“To keep your breasts looking pert and excited,” says Caroline, “press them against cold tiles in the bathroom.”

Or cuddle up to Grant Bovey…’

Posted: 1st, September 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink