Anorak News | A New Deal

A New Deal

by | 10th, September 2004

‘WHY hold a general election at all when, as the Guardian declares, we now have ‘the new Government’?

The joker

Who needs electioneering and all that unctuous baby kissing when you can just do as Tony Blair has done and shuffle the pack?

Indeed, why not just do away with party politics completely, and every few months just rotate the seats?

This way, every professional MP gets a go at being important, thus allowing the electorate – who are increasingly not voting in their droves – to get on with something less boring, like rambling and killing foxes?

Only, looking over the faces of this ‘new’ regime, it’s hard to spot anything new at all.

There’s a return to the Cabinet for slick Alan Milburn, John Prescott retains his position as the deputy prime minister and Geoff Hoon, Tessa Jowell, John Reid and Alistair Darling, to name but a few, are all still in attendance..

The only genuine new front-line face is that being pulled by Gordon Brown, who, the Times says, is on the way down.

After all, news is that the Prime Minister’s mate Alan’s now got a new office at No.10 (to go with his three others), and is pictured leaving Tony’s den with a hand a one pocket, a large smile on his face and a look that invites the caption ‘Car dealer goes for good lunch’.

Meanwhile, back at the Treasury, Brown is said to be ‘fuming’.

One of his friends says the charmless Scot’s been ‘given a kick in the teeth’, while an unnamed Blairite accuses the Chancellor of being a ‘cry-baby’.

But not to worry, because tomorrow is September 11th and that means an ideal time to bury the hatchet, and some bad news, as the great and good mark the event of the day – Cherie’s 50th birthday.

So look out for Gordon having a drink and letting bygones be bygones and perhaps even taking a few moments to advise Alan on how to spend the next ten years – while he waits for Tony to step aside.

After all, it’s got to be somebody else’s turn to be PM soon. It’s only fair.’

Posted: 10th, September 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink