A Capital Idea

‘COMPLETE the T-shirt motto and win our star prize of a pair of return ticket stubs on board the Gatwick Express. ‘I went to London and…’

Mind the gap!

Well done to a Mr K Livingstone, who’s texted in his entry from the back seat of a black cab on his way to work. And we’re pleased to announce, it’s the winner.

The winning entry reads: ‘I went to London and…I got stuck in the Tube thanks to a points failure at Acton Town and was never seen nor heard of again.’

For such reasons as that written on Ken’s terrific T-shirt, the Gatwick Express came into being, operating as a fast shuttle between central London and Britain’s second busiest airport.

But no longer, because, the Times reports, the Strategic Rail Authority has strategised a little and come up with the notion that the Express is taking up too much capacity on the Brighton main line.

So the new plan is to retain the Gatwick Express but to rename it the delayed 9:15 London-to Brighton service and have it run to the coast.

This will ensure that the trains run full to capacity and that, when boarding one, tourists from overseas will quickly be immersed in some true British culture as they are jostled by commuters and have their suitcases kicked.

And, as the train jolts to a halt ten yards from the station, give up hope of ever seeing their motherland again…’

Posted: 10th, September 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink