Anorak News | Arnie’s Army

Arnie’s Army

by | 17th, September 2004

‘AS anyone in California knows, all Austrians are barely moving hulking masses of monosyllabic muscle. Including the men.

‘To be or not to be’

The typical Austrian’s grasp on English is, at best, tenuous – “I’ll be back”; “Don’t be economic girlie men’; and “Var! Vot Var?” – and, at worst, a series of semi-human grunts and yodelling.

So when Roland Kickinger arrived in Hollywood from downtown Austria, the locals knew exactly what to expert.

And they got just what it said on the tank he came in – 265lbs of pinky-white muscle.

And since one Austrian is pretty much interchangeable with another, Kickinger has landed himself a job being Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnold Mark II is set to play Arnold Mark I in a made-for-TV movie called See Arnold Run.

But don’t worry if you miss him because with autumn upon us, you can recreate you own glove puppet Austrian by painting a face on a pair of pink tights and stuffing it full of conkers…’

Posted: 17th, September 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink