Anorak News | Golden Girls

Golden Girls

by | 24th, September 2004

‘LADIES, how much have you drunk so far today?

Seeing doubles

Hands up if it’s more than a litre of white wine…

Would those of you drinking from the bottle using both hands kindly put it down for a moment and raise your hand so we can count…

Right, thank you. As we expected, our straw poll revealed that all our female readers were on the booze. Well done to all of you, it’s this kind of dedication that has helped put Britain at the top of the European league table.

The Daily Mail says that our 18 to 24-year-olds put away an average of 203 litres of alcohol a year – 11 more than Germany in 2nd place and a massive 109 more than Holland in 3rd.

Again: well done. The Daily Mail pays tribute with a startling graphic resembling a Damien Hirst painting, with row upon row of wine bottles: 270 to be precise – the projected average annual British consumption in 2008.

For those of you who still think in traditional measures, that’s the equivalent of 482 pints of lager in the old money.

Of course, this being the Mail, they have to grub around for some kind of negative angle.

One might expect them to come up with an imaginative link to house prices – prospective first-time buyers blowing their deposit money on booze, for example.

Instead, they plump for a health scare, and repeat David Blunkett’s warnings about heavy drinking.

We here at Anorak don’t care what the moaning minnies say. As far as we’re concerned, it’s another gold medal for Britain’s girls, to be polished and cherished alongside those of Kelly Holmes and that pair of rowers (or were they sailors?).

Whatever. Rejoice! Rejoice!!’

Posted: 24th, September 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink