Anorak News | Bunny In The Oven

Bunny In The Oven

by | 5th, October 2004

‘HAVING heard Elton John’s view that popstars who only pretend to sing should be shot, we advise Victoria Beckham to head for the hills and not move or utter a word until we say so.

The rhythm method

But our caring advice has come too late, and while hitman Elton loads his weapon and goes to see his pal in Spain, Vicky has been talking about her wonderful life.

The Sun hears her tell a Spanish magazine that Brooklyn and Romeo both like music.

And before we’ve had time to fully digest that revelation, she tells us how they both have rhythm.

The clear inference it that they’ve got this quality from her and not from their dad, who, Posh tells us, is blessed with all the coordination of a Spice Girl.

And now she’s mentioned that, we wonder what else the lads inherited from their mum. Her skin? Her vocal range? Her ability to hang onto a man?

Maybe they’ve also got mum’s little furry white tail, whiskers and floppy ears, because, according to the woman herself, “I’m like a rabbit”.

And, as the Express knows, rabbits have lots of bay-bees, and she and Day-vid plan to have four or five.

Of course, she has to have number three first and, while a third little boy grows in her tum-tum, she wonders what life would be like with a girl.

“I love the word Luna,” says she. “So maybe for the next baby. A girl would be nice but you can’t choose your child’s sex.

“I’m not one to buy books and make love in set ways to increase the chance of having a girl.”

So little Luna (or Loos, for short) will have to wait a while – at last until Posh realises that you can choose a baby’s sex and that the correct position for having one is upside down, under an overhanging rock in a remote part of Chad.’

Posted: 5th, October 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink