A Hollow Victory

‘LORD Nelson would have had a few words to say about the ban on playing conkers.

Pret a manger

He started the campaign to rid the world of these evil nuts a long while back, right after one took his eye out and another rendered an arm useless.

He’d also have a few bons mots to say about the Express’s story on how celebrations to mark the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar have been put in vinegar.

Well, at least they have in unpatriotic Totnes, Devon, the place where Nelson was made a freeman of the borough.

Times have moved on since 1805 and the seaside town is now twinned with Vire in Normandy.

“It would be rather tasteless of us to celebrate a victory over a country we are allied with and twinned with,” says local councillor Tony Mead.

“We have honoured this man enough,” says former Totnes mayor, Judy Westacott. “He has had his reward from us.”

We have also spent enough money on him – the Express reports that over the past year London mayor Ken Livingstone has spent £106,000 on a hawk to scare off pigeons from Trafalgar Square, so preventing French pigeons defecating on Nelson’s memory and, er, head.

Livingstone also spent a further £30,000 on a scientific study to check that his hawk has not caused the pigeons undue stress.

This is a fair slice of money, working out at £28 for each of the 4,850 pigeons that have disappeared from the London landmark.

Which makes us wonder where the flying rats have gone? And why the local fast food van has moved from meat to fowl..?’

Posted: 7th, October 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink