Anorak News | Charlie Says

Charlie Says

by | 7th, October 2004

‘THEY say a leopard can’t change its spots, nor it seems can mouthy Northern women.

Shelly was delighted at Charlie’s suggestion of an OAP special menu

Karen McDonald’s religious conversion lasted about as long as a pair of Underworld knickers and she’s now, thankfully, back to her bitchy, selfish, mental self. “There’s plenty of bar work on cruise ships,” she told her mother-in-law Liz when she turned up on their doorstep after Shelly had kicked her out. “You’d even get a tan – a real one for a change.”

Karen was furious when Steve moved his mother in as it meant an end to their baby-making sessions. “Ow am I ever gonna get knocked up with your mother the other side of that wall?” she screamed at long-suffering Steve.

Tracey is also doing her best to stop the couple conceiving. Terrified that another baby McDonald would lessen her hold on Steve, Tracey dumped baby Amy on Steve’s doorstep and pretended she was leaving town for a few days. “I could hardly leave her outside could I, babe?” Steve signed when Karen came home to find baby Amy on his knee and threw a predictable tantrum.

At least Liz has now moved out again as Shelly came round and made a grovelling apology. “I should ‘ave believed yer,” she sighed. “And I should ‘ave known never to trust a man again.”

Poor Shelly’s not had much luck with men. First she marries a bigamist, now she’s dating someone with a worrying penchant for pensioners.

Not content with bedding her mother, Charlie has now turned his attentions to Liz. But for someone who dresses like an aging prostitute, Liz displays surprising restraint. When Charlie tried to kiss her after hours in the Rovers, she slapped his face in fury.

Charlie, being the slippery fox that he is, managed to get his version of events to Shelly before Liz. And Shelly, being the idiot that she is, believed him.

“Do yer really think I’d risk what we’ve got by tryin’ it on with an old slapper like Liz?” he sneered. Shelly isn’t sure what to believe and has gone from throwing Charlie out to welcoming him back with open arms.

Shelly should realise though that as a builder, Charlie is bound to enjoy poking around old foundations.’

Posted: 7th, October 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink