Up The Blues!

”TRUE BLUES UTD’ says the Star, above pictures of footballers Steve McManaman and Michael Owen.

Minister for Gaming

The paper believes that the Conservative Party is targeting the two of them as ‘the first signings’ in ‘an entire team of right-wingers’.

Outsiders might question the wisdom of picking two men who left this country to jump on the European gravy train – something the Tory faithful appear to regard as only marginally less treacherous than joining a jihad.

That other gravy-train jumper, David Beckham, has apparently been ‘rejected’ for not having the right image – something which would probably be giving him sleepless nights, if he wasn’t already having them thanks to another thousand or so more serious worries at the moment.

Funnily enough, the fourth Real Madrid gringo, Jonathan Woodgate, doesn’t figure in the Tories’ plans either. Perhaps his image is deemed unsuitable too.

Anyway, the paper reports that the drive to recruit footballers follows the Tories’ ‘success in getting the backing of top boy band Busted’.

In the bad old days of Back To Basics, when Tory ministers behaved like Wayne Rooney at a pensioners’ tea party, footballers would have seemed an obvious choice to do some celebrity cheerleading.

Now, the Tories want something more sedate. ‘Michael Owen would be perfect,’ says a party insider. ‘He’s a nice, clean-living family boy.’

And just the person to lead the Tory campaign against Labour’s new plans to turn Britain into the gambling capital of Europe.

Onwards and upwards!’

Posted: 15th, October 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink