Couture Shock

‘THE only fashion show that we here at Anorak have ever attended was five years ago for the launch of our celebrated Comfi-Slax range.

‘Come on, number five! You can do it!’

Some of the biggest – or at least longest – names in fashion descended on Anorak Towers that day to see the parade of models clad only in our now trademark 100% flame retardant fabric.

The Pomagne flowed, we scoffed cheese and pineapple chunks by the lorryload and it wasn’t long before the queue for the staff toilet stretched out onto the street.

But, apart from that, we have never been tempted to park our well-cushioned derrieres on a front-row seat in Paris, Milan or New York.

In fact, we admit that we are quite baffled by the appeal of these catwalk shows.

There in OK! this week is a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow clapping her macrobiotic heart out, looking for all the world as if she is at a football match or has front-row seats for a world heavyweight bout.

But she’s not – she is, the caption informs us, at her pal Stella McCartney’s spring/summer 2005 show in Paris.

Now, we could understand the excitement if they added a touch of competition to these shows.

They could introduce a race to see which model can make it to the end of the catwalk first, for instance; they could learn a few lessons from the grappling game and have the models trying to wrestle each other off the runway; or they could borrow the old Club 18-30 favourite and get the models to walk along a log suspended over a swimming pool.

We might then understand the reaction of Nicole Kidman, pictured gasping in horror/surprise/delight at Karl Lagerfeld’s collection.

But clapping a load of gawky looking tall chicks just for managing to walk from one end of a catwalk to another…please!

However, this year we’re pleased to see the fashion world have taken collective heads out of their arses long enough to tackle some of the big issues of the day.

‘Dior Not War’ is the slogan on the back of a John Galliano-designed jacket for Christian Dior.

If that doesn’t have all sides in the Middle East laying down their arms, then nothing will…’

Posted: 18th, October 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink