Anorak News | National (Socialist) Express

National (Socialist) Express

by | 21st, October 2004

‘EVER since Richard Desmond took over ownership of ‘The World’s Greatest Newspaper’ (aka The Express, naturally), Germany has never had it so good.

‘Don’t litter’

Rather than being a country with a faltering economy, a rubbish football team and a political leader with alarmingly black hair, the land over there appears from the Express’s office block as a seething mass of unfulfilled Nazi ambition.

And today’s front-page news that has got Desmond goosestepping round his eagle’s nest is that the Germans want the Queen to say sorry for the war.

This is indeed despicable. It can’t have been easy for Her Majesty to have gone against the land of her forefathers in the second great British-German shoot-out, but go against the grain she did.

But reading on we learn that the Germans don’t want Liz to apologise for picking the other side, but rather to say sorry for British saturation bombing that accounted for thousands of German lives and set towns like Dresden ablaze.

So, on her next trip to Germany, when she would normally be expected to catch up with a few of dad’s old pals and distant cousins, Liz will be expected to express ‘some form’ of limited regret for the Allied campaign.

Predictably, although Buckingham Palace denies receiving any formal request from Germany for an apology, the Express is none too pleased – and says so in its editorial, ‘No saying sorry in our fight to defeat Hitler’.

And the Express will not stop fighting until evil Adolf is beaten once and for all…’

Posted: 21st, October 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink