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Devil And The Deep Blue Sea

by | 25th, October 2004

‘HOW al-Qaeda and the sadists hiding behind the Koran as they kidnap and callously murder civilians and unarmed natives in Iraq must be seething with jealousy as they read of the Black Watch.

”We might have God and the Devil on our side, Sarge, but they’ve got Mike Riley”

Some of the initial impressions produced by this fearsome name might be tempered by the Telegraph’s shot of the Jocks of the Black Watch gathering for a Sunday service in Basra.

No black uniforms, black faces and blacker looks, just the usual desert khaki and moments of quiet reflection on what has been and what is yet to come.

But as the insurgents/terrorists awaiting the Black Watch as they move out of Basra into the more violent environs of Baghdad realise that, despite the spine-chilling name the Watch are made of flesh and bone, the Times brings news to make the enemy’s blood run cold.

As the Black Watch respond to Padre Aled Thomas’s reading from the Book of Joshua about the crossing of the Euphrates, one man aboard a British naval frigate has turned to the back of the Good Book for some guidance.

The Independent reports that Captain Russell Best, commanding officer of HMS Cumberland, has officially recognised the right of Leading Hand Chris Cranmer to worship the Devil.

The Guardian’s story about the Devil and the deep blue sea is illustrated by an artist’s impression of Satan in full, hideous red-skinned mode.

It’s terrifying, although to think Beelzebub’s on our side – and the side of the so-called Great Satan – is a little heartening.

But not everyone is best pleased. Ann Widdecombe, the former Tory minister and potential sacrificial virgin, hopes Satanism doesn’t spread.

But she mustn’t be judgemental. A navy spokesman explains that the Ministry of Defence is an “equal opportunities employer” and Cranmer has as much right to join the armed forces as the next one-armed Albanian transvestite.

So Cranmer is free to fight for his country. And should he ever make it to Iraq, able to look for signs of the Devil’s work in that war-torn land.

Not that he’ll have to look too hard…’



Posted: 25th, October 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink