Anorak News | Food Fight

Food Fight

by | 26th, October 2004

‘IF Arsene Wenger, Sir Alex Ferguson and their players had been following the Mirror’s seven-day sex diet, there would have been no pea soup or pizza thrown in the tunnel at Old Trafford.

”Who had rice?”

Instead, the fracas after Sunday’s clash between the two giants of English football would have involved nothing more deadly than chopped celery and grated carrot.

True, Ferguson’s blazer might still have needed a visit to the dry cleaner’s after having a small pot of natural yoghurt thrown over it.

And perhaps Wenger would have got caught in the crossfire as the two sets of players traded wholemeal pitta stuffed with guacamole.

But far from screaming insults at each other over the validity of Manchester United’s penalty claim, the chances are the two men would have ended up in a passionate clinch.

The Mirror claims its seven-day Libido Diet is guaranteed to get you in the mood.

“Our plan,” it says, “is packed with aphrodisiac foods to help you to feel sexier and get aroused faster.”

There were no problems with the speed at which the Manchester United and Arsenal players got aroused, judging from the story in this morning’s Sun.

It claims the Gunners pelted 62-year-old Ferguson with pizza, soup and sandwiches as tempers exploded after the match, which United won 2-0.

United striker Ruud Van Nistelrooy, who scored the disputed penalty, lit the fuse, the paper says, by tapping Wenger on the arm and making a comment.

Wenger turned on Fergie and, according to a United insider, “started screaming and finger-prodding him” as food started to fly out of the Arsenal dressing room.

In case you cannot imagine the scene, the Sun has a computer generated picture of what it is dubbing “The Battle of the Buffet”.

In the foreground is a rather camp looking Ferguson being drenched in pea soup and pizza as Wenger looks on; behind them, Gary Neville yells at no-one in particular as Van Nistelrooy appears to be taking part in a karaoke contest; and behind them Wayne Rooney and Thierry Henry are locked in a belly-butting contest.

But – the piece de resistance – is referee Mike Riley in the background with whistle in mouth and his left arm raised. Presumably he’s just awarded an indirect free kick…’

Posted: 26th, October 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink