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Piers Ahead

by | 29th, October 2004

‘IS that really Piers Morgan, the former Mirror editor, peering out from the Independent?

”And next week’s winning Lottery numbers are…”

Such is the nature of photographs that we cannot be entirely sure and it might not be him. It might be an Iraqi dissident or Osama bin Laden pretending to be the great anti-war campaigner.

But let’s suppose the picture is of Morgan and that he did appear on ITV’s This Morning show yesterday.

And let’s just consider the idea that in between in-depth discussions on baked polenta, underarm dandruff and human sacrifices, Morgan began to bang on about something called “current affairs”.

While believing he was off air, Morgan is said to have turned to his on-screen partner, Fern Britton (think Vanessa Feltz meets Chris Biggins), and offered his opinion on the day’s news.

“I tell you what,” said Morgan. “I would brace yourselves for something in the next few days.”

Ms Britton was intrigued.

“I just think that al-Qa’ida, with an election, I think they have been waiting for the election.”

Knocked out of her stride for a second, Britton must have wondered what the shadowy terror network had to do with the day’s voting on which supermarket lasagne is the tastiest.

But no, Morgan was referring to the US presidential election, and wondering if Osama bin Laden’s men were intending to mark its arrival with bombs and death.

This was not quite the usual This Morning fare, and, having been told that he was live on air and his remarks had been broadcast, Morgan appeared startled.

He then apologised.

“I want to put everyone’s minds at rest…” said he. “Don’t panic – nothing is about to happen.”

And to prove it he held aloft a picture of a man in Arab headdress urinating on a burning White House…’



Posted: 29th, October 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink