Anorak News | In The Lions’ Den

In The Lions’ Den

by | 4th, November 2004

‘IT is the job of every Christian to try to convert his fellow man to the way of the Lord.

‘So, there were these two loaves and five fishes, right?’

Even homos and liberals can enter the Kingdom of Heaven – although obviously only if they cease to practice their disgusting habits.

But the Telegraph sees a Taiwanese man by the name of Chen take his proselytising zeal a stage further, trying to convert the lions in Taipei zoo to Christianity.

“Jesus will save you!” the 46-year-old man shouted at two lions lounging under a tree. “Come, bite me!” he added, with both arms raised.

Predictably, the lions – both confirmed agnostics, incidentally – decided to take him up on his invitation.

The incident was caught on TV cameras, which show one lion jumping at him and biting him on the arm and another clawing at his trousers.

Remarkably, however, the man got up and climbed out the cage, from where he was taken to hospital and his bite marks were treated.

Psychiatrist Dr Wang Yao-ching said: “He took this dangerous action today because he imagined he heard voices.”

It was the voice of the Lord – and it is urging every good Christian this morning to follow Chen’s lead and climb into the lions’ cage at their local zoo.

[Note: If no lions are available, try converting a crocodile, a black widow spider or the shoal of piranha fish in the White House aquarium.]’

Posted: 4th, November 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink