Game Over?

‘LOCK up your lycra, ladies – Liz McDonald’s back in town. Unfortunately, no one seems to have told her that Halloween’s over for another year as she returned dressed as some sort of S&M witch.

‘That’s the one, your honour!’

It’s a look that Charlie seems to favour, however, as he’s been trying to get into her clothes (her pants specifically) ever since she got back.

Shelly, whose lobotomy was more successful than even Charlie could have hoped for, believes that it’s Liz who’s after her man and chucked her out of the Rovers – yet again. Liz has – yet again – moved in with Steve and Karen, much to Karen’s disgust.

“Yer mum’s been trowelling on the make-up for almost an hour in the bathroom,” Karen screeched. “Some of us have jobs to go to,” she continued. “That’s right, love,” Liz replied, “the fish market is shockingly understaffed.”

Karen’s job at Underworld is actually looking a bit shaky after all the girls decided to go on a go-slow in protest at Danny Baldwin’s attempts to monitor their work. All the girls that is apart from Kelly Crabtree.

Kelly, or ‘Crabby’ as the girls charmingly refer to her as, has set her sights on bedding Danny Baldwin. “He’s a terrible womaniser,” said Hayley. “Great!” replied Kelly, “then I’m in with a chance!”

Danny took Kelly out for a drink. “You know I’m married, don’t you?” he told her, “and that I always will be. But I always think there’s room for more than two in a marriage.”

Mad Maya is also of the same opinion – she’s got seven husbands, although the men all think they’ve married someone called Sunita.

As Sunita rots in jail for a crime she didn’t commit, Dev and her mother have joined forces to try and prove her innocence.

Frankie Baldwin let slip to Dev that she’d bumped into a taxi driver who told her that he’d driven Maya to her wedding and the pair – a kind of Asian Cagney and Lacey – amazingly manage to track him down within a couple of episodes.

Well, less amazingly when you stop to think that the population of Weatherfield is about 25. He agreed to help after Maya’s mother gave him a passionate speech about helping your children in need (well, it is getting to that time of year).

They set up a sting and lured Maya to The Rovers for the taxi driver to identify her. “Is that the woman you drove to her wedding? The woman who told you her name was Sunita?” boomed Dev, coming over all Rumpole of the Bailey. “Yes, it is,” the cabbie told a packed Rovers.

But it takes more than that to wipe the smirk off Maya’s face. “Thanks Dev,” she laughed. “I’d been worried about him coming forward, but now you’ve blown your only ace. A judge will strike his evidence out now as inadmissible.”

And with that she picked up her broomstick and flew out of The Rovers.

More scary woman behaviour in Weatherfield this week as Cilla is on the prowl again. Les’s attempts to woo her back into bed (why?) resulted in him buying a dodgy Jacuzzi from Charlie.

Cilla tells Les that her ‘friend’ Billy can fix it. “He can turn ‘is ‘and to anything,” she purred. “He’s a dab hand at fixing dodgy pipe work.” Well, Cilla should know.’

Posted: 7th, November 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink