Anorak News | Little Mo’s Back

Little Mo’s Back

by | 9th, November 2004

‘THE Slater house has seen more comings and goings than the Tottenham manager’s office over the past few months.

”Fancy a little tart for dessert?”

First there was Lynne; then Kat left, came back again and has now gone again; Little Mo’s now back and the new Slater on the block – Stacey – has made her debut.

God knows how many people are now living in the Slater house, especially now Zoe’s moved back in. That house has more hidden rooms than an Osama Bin Laden hideout.

Little Mo returned this week – complete with baby Freddie, to give evidence in Graham’s rape trial. “I told yer mum to abort you,” slurred Kat over the pram, demonstrating her natural mothering instincts yet again.

Little Mo has returned with a new hair do, a new kick-ass attitude and about three stone lighter – which is hardly surprising as she left to have a baby.

Producers are desperately – and unsuccessfully – trying to cover up Kat’s real-life pregnancy. They’ve now resorted to just shooting her from the neck up, but even that’s not working as day by day she becomes more and more like a giant orange space-hopper.

They’ve now given up completely and have re-written her out of the series in a hastily cobbled together storyline whereby she sleeps with a complete stranger in order to convince Alfie she’s not a tart.

“Get out!” screamed Alfie on discovering what she’d done, “I can’t take any more of it.” You and ten million others…

Little Mo has decided to stay in Walford as Graham has been found guilty of rape and Billy has agreed to give their marriage another go.

“You gonna play ‘appy families wif a rapist’s kid,” sneered Stacey to him, echoing what every one else was thinking. “Zoe was a rapist’s kid and she’s turned out alright,” replied Little Mo, illustrating what a stable, run-of-the-mill family the Slaters are.

Stacey has been brought in as a Janine replacement, her brief clearly to be as vile and obnoxious as possible. Within her first week, she’d tried to get Garry into bed, stolen from Mickey’s market stall, nicked Zoe’s clothes and seduced Spencer Moon.

Stacey is under the mistaken belief that Spencer is loaded as she saw him counting out the petty cash for the café. “Fancy a date?” she asked him, clearly not backward at coming forward. “You’re just my type,” she purred, her ‘type’ being the slightly retarded and gullible.

Spencer, keen to impress, borrowed fifty quid from Alfie and took Stacey to an Italian restaurant. “Let’s go back to mine for some afters,” giggled Stacey.

Stacey’s not going to happy when she discovers that Spencer’s penniless but at least she’s learnt a valuable lesson her great-aunty Kat would have taught her if only she’d stuck around – always get the money first.’

Posted: 9th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink