Anorak News | Fat Chances

Fat Chances

by | 13th, November 2004

‘INSIDE every big-boned American star is a stick-thin walking pencil waiting to eat her way out.

A Kirstie Alley dream sequence

The likes of Rosanne Barr have inspired thousands of wide-hipped women to try and stand up and be counted, to prove that they too can be successful and happy in a world obsessed by thin women.

But as soon as success comes knocking, the cuddly star who put her fans at ease with her massive clothes and specialist sex appeal embarks on a mission to shed some pounds.

Even Kirstie Alley is accused of doing it. The actress, who thanks to her massive girth secured a job on a series called Fat Actress, no sooner got the gig than she began to lose weight.

A pal tells the Enquirer that Alley’s weight loss is not down to dieting of surgery, rather the fact she back working and so busy that she no time to eat.

Which means she’s a fat actress who gets work lamenting the fact that, as a fat actress, she can’t get work, while, in real life, she’s losing weight and so securing a career as something other than the fat actress or the back end of a pantomime zeppelin.

Meanwhile, Oprah Winfrey, who has told millions of American women to love themselves, has said that she now finally loves herself and has stopped dieting.

Apparently, she now weighs only a few more pounds more than she did as a teenager, and, as one insider says, has “transformed…her inner self”.

And, no not with a few staples in her stomach or a tropical worm in her gut but by something called “a learning process”.

And it’s given her a “jaw-dropping” new look. Although, if your own jaw drops too much, best to do as many larger American women do and have it wired shut…’

Posted: 13th, November 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink