Anorak News | Gruesome Toothsome

Gruesome Toothsome

by | 13th, November 2004

‘REMEMBER when the paint manufacturer Dulux told us that white was not always white?

Lie back and think of Monica

There’s white, there’s Michael Jackson white, there’s snow blind white and then there’s the ultimate white – the white dentists in American paint onto their patients’ teeth.

This is a whiteness so pure only nuns and Julie Andrews should be seen in it.

But not everything is perfect in the States. After an extensive study of everyone’s teeth from Miami to Michigan, the Enquirer has found one pair of gnashers that are less than perfect.

No, these teeth were not spotted arriving on a flight from Britain – although it cannot be long before all visitors to the US of A have their teeth checked by immigration in the manner of a Bedouin camel trader examining his new stock.

No, this is an American mouth, and it belongs to a woman who’s spent her life opening and closing it.

It is none other than Hillary Clinton’s maw, and over the course of four stills readers get to be treated to the sight of her magic tooth.

This is not a Celine Dion snaggle tooth, but a molar on Hillary’s left side that disappears and reappears with all the guile of a guilty mistress.

And finally gives us a clue as to what her husband Bill Clinton saw in that neat and blunt-toothed Monica Lewinsky…’

Posted: 13th, November 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink