Anorak News | DVD Killed The Video Star

DVD Killed The Video Star

by | 22nd, November 2004

‘HOLD the phone, Santa. If you’re planning on giving little Johnny six geese a-laying this festive season, you’d best make sure those eggs are made of solid gold.

‘Don’t bother videoing Only Fools And Horses – it’ll be on again in a minute’

Forget the partridge, the swans, the turtle doves and the French hens – Johnny’s mum’s already bought a turkey as big as your sleigh and has no need for any more fowl.

Sure, you can bring the dancing ladies (especially if they have their own poles), and the drummers drumming can stay, so long as they have a bass player in tow and can hit 120 beats-per-minute.

The face of Christmas is changing, and what everyone wants nowadays is state-of-the-art technology.

No-one wants yesterday’s stuff. No-one wants a video recorder. A DVD is the only way to go, and, as the Telegraph says, Dixons, Britain’s largest electrical chain, is to stop selling VCRs.

“We’re saying goodbye to one of the important products in the history of consumer technology,” says John Mewett, the Dixons marketing director.

So farewell then to the blinking clock that sat in the corner of the room mocking us with all its buttons, timer and extra features.

And hello to the DVD with its blinking clock and all manner of fabulous – and mocking – features.

The only thing left to do is work out what to do with the old VCR.

Don’t think about selling it, because, as the Times says, no-one’s buying.

Indeed, no-one’s even stealing the outdated technology, and the sharp drop in house burglaries has less to do with more effective policing and more to do with a fall in the demand for second-hand goods.

Cheap, fast-changing technology means that house burglars no longer see Christmas as their busy period.

That big new telly, the fashionable game console and the Stripper Barbie doll are too hard to shift.

Instead, thieves have turned their attention to shoplifting and the theft of lorry loads of brand new goods.

And it’s a similar scene in Italy, where the Times spots what it calls an “army of activists” bursting into supermarkets, loading trollies with goods and either negotiating a large discount of just nicking the lot.

The gang of “proletarian expropriators” chant “Everything costs too much” before going outside and giving away their haul to passers-by.

One woman in Rome was the lucky recipient of three pairs of £210 Nike trainers. Others have been given DVDs, food and books.

No-one, however, seems to want the videos…’

Posted: 22nd, November 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink