Anorak News | Just Say ‘No’

Just Say ‘No’

by | 25th, November 2004

‘AT its closest point, mainland Europe is only 21 miles away, but we’re far less likely to read a report on German foreign affairs or Danish education policy in our newspapers than we to hear about an American woman who has cut off her husband’s penis in an act of revenge.

There can be only one Viktor

Often, the only time we read about what is still touchingly called “The Continent” is when the story contains the headline word “no”.

And there is the “no” story today in the Times, where players in the “no” campaign against Britain’s acceptance of a European constitution met at the Savoy, London for a £300-a-plate dinner.

Most of the £500,000 raised at the event came from the auction of things like a “pair of rare breed Middle White breeding piglets” and a day’s shooting on former Tory Cabinet minister Lord Cranbourne’s Dorset estate.

Other lots included: a picture of Baroness Thatcher (donated by, er, Baroness Thatcher); a day at Westminster in the company of William Hague (with 10-pint pub lunch); and drinks with the Sun’s political editor, Trevor Kavanagh.

The “yes” vote doesn’t stand a chance when the “no” camp makes offers like those. European integration is all well and good for some, but you know where you are with a randy pig. Eh, Rebecca Loos?

But while the UK’s Eurosceptics are prepared to selflessly dine out on traditional British fayre eaten off fine bone china in a five star hotel, Ukrainians dig in for their own “No” vote.

Standing in the driving snow in Kiev’s Independence Square, the Telegraph looks at the 100,000 snow-covered protestors demonstrating against their country’s new president, the pro-Russian Viktor Yanukovych.

And the conclusion is that however noble the aim to get their own man in power, the pro-European Viktor Yushchenko, the freezing weather presents a bigger obstacle than the heavily armed riot police who stand before them.

Their biggest ally, however, will not be the European politicos identified in the Independent – Gerhard Schroeder, chancellor of somewhere or other, European foreign policy chief, Carlos Kickaball, or EU president, Manuel de Barcelona – but dear old Dubya (so familiar are we with him, he’s even got a nickname).

The Guardian says that the US raised the stakes in the Ukraine when Colin Powell, the secretary of state, said that Washington would not accept the official result of Ukraine’s presidential elections.

It has threatened to ostracise the new regime unless something is done to put right what the Bush administration and many others see as a rigged election.

Which, as any British-European will tell you, was really won by a gentleman by the name of Al Gorky…’

Posted: 25th, November 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink