Anorak News | Finger On The Pulse

Finger On The Pulse

by | 26th, November 2004

‘HOW William Hague must have fretted all those years ago as to whether it was the done thing to wear his baseball cap with the peak pointing forwards or turned backwards towards his nape.

‘He wants to know if I’d like a bigger penis in four to six weeks?’

On such small details are a politician’s yoof credentials constructed.

And so it was with Tony Blair, who admitted to spending a “large part of the morning” yesterday grappling with the question: “What is your favourite guitar solo?”

Hang the questions on Iraq (it was a good thing), when the soldiers of the Black Watch would be allowed to return home (before Christmas) and which of the characters in Bridget Jones he most likens himself to (Lawrence of Arabia), here was the moment of truth.

In readiness for his reply, the Times says that Tony consulted with his daughter, the 16-year-old Kathryn, whose job it was to tutor the father of the nation in the language of the text message.

So when Tony sat before Capital FM DJ Margherita Taylor and fielded some of the 7,000 text questions that had been sent to him in batches of 160 characters of fewer, he was well prepared.

“There are many guitar solos in songs these days,” said Tony confidently. And true enough there are. We’ve counted no fewer than seven.

So what would Tony go for as his fave? Moreover, what would the unforgiving yoof want him to say?

Get it wrong and he’d be wearing Hague’s infamous baseball cap with the brim aimed to the right.

Get it right and, in a puff of high-inducing smoke, the hat would spontaneously combust, leaving in its place an erect pink Mohican.

So what would it be? Given Tony’s religious convictions, Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven would be a smart guess.

And what with his moves to all but cattle-brand all of us with “PROPERTY OF COOL BRITANNIA”, so would Jimi Hendrix’s isolationist All Along The Watchtower.

But enough guessing, it’s time to announce the winner (polyphonic drum and bass roll please). And it is While My Guitar Gently Weeps.

The Beatles’ staple is as solid and dependable as a pair of Anorak’s own-brand Comfi-Slax for today’s man, but it does lack a certain, well, modernity.

But not to worry, because Tony has his finger on the pulse, and yesterday a team of five men had their fingers on their phones to turn each of Tony’s concise answers into text messages.

And if that’s not hip, trendy and cutting–edge, daddy-o, then nothing is…’

Posted: 26th, November 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink