Pig In A Poke

‘DOES anyone have any idea at all why Day-vid Beckham may have cheated on the delicious Posh?

‘How much is it for a blow job?’

We’ve wracked our brains and scratched our heads trying to solve this puzzle for what seems like an age.

We’ve studied the couple’s movements in no little detail. We’ve examined Rebecca Loos’ technique on video, employing super slo-mo and the occasional use of the ‘piggy pause’ button.

But still we are at a loss. We have no idea why the famous England captain would cheat on his talented, stunning, honeydew-voiced wife.

But now someone close to the pair has stepped forward with an idea. Elton John says that Posh is to blame for Dave’s alleged wanderings.

The Express hears the singer offer the opinion: ‘I just think that things went wrong when he went to Madrid. I would have thought the best idea would have been for Victoria to go with him.’

It is an interesting notion. Challenging. But Spain is so very far, and flying in aircraft can play havoc with the vocal chords. Could Posh risk it?

‘If you live six months in a hotel room in Madrid – or anywhere – it’s going to drive you crazy,’ continues Elton.

It’s another intriguing point. But it’s hard to fully understand. We remain unconvinced.

So it’s back to the video tape for another look at the expression on the pig’s face as Rebecca addresses his golden balls…’

Posted: 1st, December 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink