Anorak News | Holier Than Thou

Holier Than Thou

by | 7th, December 2004

‘JUST because Cliff Richard hasn’t released a hymn doesn’t mean Christmas has been cancelled.

Will he rise for a third term?

Tony Blair wants us to know that now more than ever we must remember what Christmas is all about.

So he’s sending a select few cards in which, as the Telegraph says, he will be offering the seasonal greeting: “With best wishes for Christmas and the New Year.”

But not if you’re non-Christian, or heathen as it is known in certain circles. Then, you’ll be getting the abridged version: “With best wishes for the New Year.”

For non-Christians, Tony has eradicated Christmas in one stoke of his printer’s ink.

He’s put down Santa’s reindeer in a humane and dog-free manner, poured the mulled wine down the sink and pulped your festive tree into recycled toilet paper.

He does however think it okay that non-believers – who will rot in Hell as surely as you will not be getting any presents from Santa – have a terrific next 12 months.

So what if you’re Jewish and your New Year begins sometime in Tony’s September, Chinese (February) or Ken Livingstone (whenever he can get that ruddy River of Fire started), Tony wants you to have a good one.

But while you look now at the cover of Tony’s card and note that it also comes from Cherie, who stands alongside her man dressed in something too similar to a black smock, (Tony’s looking “cas” and smug in Comfi-Jeans and cardi-sweater), the Times looks at some other cards.

There’s the one from Tory leader Michael Howard, on which is featured a rookery of Emperor penguins standing on ice.

And then there’s the one from Charles Kennedy, the Liberal Democrat leader, showing a Highland croft standing in splendid isolation before a backdrop of snow covered mountains.

And if you don’t like that, then, as is the way with the Lib-Dems, Kennedy has another one some other people might like, with a picture of a fishing boat moored in a loch at the foot of Ben Nevis.

And having seen them, the Times concludes that Tony’s card has given him “an easy win in the Christmas card stakes”.

Not that Christmas is a time to score cheap political points and make yourself appear more worthy than your opponents, of course…’

Posted: 7th, December 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink