Anorak News | Candy Girl

Candy Girl

by | 7th, December 2004

‘“WHAT do you miss about South Africa?”

A South African

Oh save us! If ever there were a question guaranteed to induce a catatonic state in the British reader, it is surely that one.

Feel your eyelids begin to droop and your heart begin to slow as the barman leans forward, rests the elbows of his rugby shirt in the slops tray and tells you how wonderful life is back home.

Back home, the sun always shines, everyone surfs all day long (even those who live on dirt farms miles from the sea) and the sun is still shining. Shame about the natives etc. etc.

So when OK! asks this question of Candice, the latest South African singing sensation to hit these shores, the answer will surely be as surprising as the discovery that she has blonde hair and blue eyes.

But what’s this? Although she misses home every day, Candy says that she lives in Johannesburg, a city with all the charm of scabies.

Back home, she couldn’t ride her bike or walk because it was so unsafe. What with her being a woman, she could never venture out after dark even in her car.

Hello? This sounds interesting. What about the spectacular vistas as oceans collide?

What of the prawns as big as those weedy British cows? What of the rainbow nation and how every one, black, yellow, brown and tanned just loves Nelson Mandela?

No? Instead we hear about Candy’s love of poetry and how she’s turned off by a lot of the pop music at the moment because it “isn’t saying anything”.

And when asked about the future, Candy just wants to be having a “great time”. No peace. No love. No walk-on part in Emmerdale. Just fun.

And at once we find ourselves warming to Candy. We wish her well. And when we next see her, we hope she’s performing the cutting-edge anthem of her generation live on air.

While the South African barman looks up at Candy on the TV and tells us how all the girls back home are like Candy – only better…’

Posted: 7th, December 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink