Anorak News | (Father) Christmas Is Cancelled

(Father) Christmas Is Cancelled

by | 8th, December 2004

‘DEAR kind, handsome, good Santa, all I want for Christmas is world peace, an end to world hunger and two front teeth…

”Next year, we’re taking him to see the spot where the Easter Bunny was murdered”

Oh, and while you’re at it, a Robosapien, a PlayStation 2 and a new improved version of Mousetrap.

Sadly, the last three requests might even be beyond Santa, what with the robot and the revamped childhood favourite selling out and a supertanker blocking the Suez Canal, so impeding the progress of a ship bringing in thousands of the electronic video game consoles.

As for world peace and all those niceties, Santa can’t do any of those either, not because he doesn’t think it all very lovely – or because Miss World is already on the case and he doesn’t want to steal her dream – but because he’s too busy.

Indeed, the Times says that when hundreds of children took the chance to take a £450-a-head trip to Lapland to see Father Christmas is person, they were told that he was even too busy to see them.

(Hey, PlayStations don’t test themselves, you know.)

Even those holidaymakers who did see the great man – he was, apparently, standing in the doorway of a restaurant surrounded by dirty dinner plates – were nothing short of furious.

The result was a near riot, as the tourists who came to marvel – and who had stood in line for two hours in order to hand-deliver their lists of demands to Santa – were told that, owing to an “operational” hitch, not everyone could enter the grotto.

And those who did could be afforded just 30 seconds to place their orders – and if they could so in Finnish so much the better since this Santa had no knowledge of English.

The result is that the tour operator has launched an investigation and Mrs Hughes’ granddaughter, Millie (aged 8), no longer believes in Father Christmas.

Which at a price of just £450 sounds like something of a bargain.

Book us in for next year…’

Posted: 8th, December 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink