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Kelly On The Telly

by | 9th, December 2004

‘SINCE Kelly Brook was sacked from The Big Breakfast and quit these shores to build a new life in America, things have just got better and better for the former underwear model.

In this scene Kelly acts like an underwear model

She’s traded in Jason Statham, her trusty English banger, for a shiny new Hollywood model in the fine four-fendered shape of Billy Zane.

And her career as an actress is on the up and up.

We know this because it says as much in every newspaper and every magazine that is looking for an excuse to publish pictures of Kelly from her modelling days.

But has anyone actually seen her in anything? In the five years since she boarded the modern equivalent of the Mayflower, what evidence is there of her acting prowess?

Hell, she hasn’t even released the obligatory home video of her and Billy recreating the best bits from Pulp Friction or Romancing The Bone.

But don’t worry – all that’s about to change because Kelly is on the cover of this week’s Hello! to promote a “slew” of films that are about to go straight to a video store near you.

First up is School For Seduction, in which Kelly plays Sophia, an Italian temptress who arrives at a school in Newcastle to teach a bunch of Geordies the art of love.

“If I never do another movie, I have this one,” says Kelly proudly (and, one suspects, prophetically).

“It’s very important to me because it’s the first time that England will see me as someone other than the girl who was on The Big Breakfast.

“So, it’s exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.”

Not so exciting are the reviews. One critic described it as “crude and embarrassing”, another as “sub-Full Monty” and an “abject British comedy with no laughs”.

At least, there have been no such bad notices for Kelly’s two other films – Three, the film in which she met Zane (think Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in Gigli), and House Of 9, a thriller starring Dennis Hopper.

Neither has been released yet…’



Posted: 9th, December 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink