Anorak News | Holmes’ Place

Holmes’ Place

by | 13th, December 2004

‘ENTER with us into a dream.

”So, Kelly, did you think it was a goal or not?”

There are two big teams playing a game of football. After 90 minutes, the final whistle sounds, the players collect their cheques and then go spit-roasting. That is it.

Now wake up and see the Mirror, on which we have the headline “POLL POTTY”.

It seems that referee Graham Poll, aka The Thing from Tring, in some way erred in allowing Thierry Henry’s quickly-taken free kick to stand in yesterday 2-2 draw with Chelsea.

How it can be “controversial” (Mail) to take advantage of your opponent’s foul play is beyond most of us – especially when we read that Henry said “please” to the ref in the prelude to his opportunist strike.

But still we have the papers banging on about Poll, and hearing from Chelsea manager, Jose Mourinho, who is always too keen to give the tabloid hacks something to scream about.

So, we get the Sun’s “WE WERE CHEATED” lead sports story, in which the increasingly trying Mourinho moans long and loud.

“I am more than unhappy,” says he. “Unhappy is a nice word. I can’t say the word I hear in my head and feel in my heart. I can’t say it. But the free-kick was unbearable.”

We are no mean linguists here at Anorak Towers, and suggest that the word Mourinho cannot bring himself to voice is “Goal”.

But he should be happy with winning a point at Highbury, which means the Blues are five points above the reigning champions and four points above a resurgent Everton.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will also be happy, having been named as top coach at the BBC Sports Personality of the Year awards.

As the Mail reports, Wenger’s team – the so-called Invincibles – were pipped to the title of top team by the Britain’s Olympic coxless fours.

At this juncture, we’d like to mention how being a sports personality is something of a contradiction in terms, but we are stopped by the realisation that here at least is one moment when football is not the dominant force.

And if our eyes do not deceive us that is Kelly Holmes – a non-crying female athlete – taking the prize for being the biggest personality in the country’s sporting life.

Given the coverage given to Jose Mourinho’s moan or Wayne Rooney’s spots, it’s nothing less than a marvel that anyone outside football wins anything ever.

Although England’s cricketers are proving the point, as they slump towards defeat against South Africa A.’

Posted: 13th, December 2004 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink